How to Recognize Gaslighting and Stop Manipulation
Gaslighting is manipulation. The purpose of gaslighting is to make a person doubt himself, his strength, and adequacy in general because it’s easier to manipulate him that way. Keep reading to find out if this kind of psychological pressure is being exerted.
What Gaslighting Is
The term “gaslighting” appeared in the vocabulary of therapy after the movie adaptation of the play Gas Light. It’s the story of how a poor woman honestly thought that she was gradually going crazy, but in fact, it was her husband who rearranged and hid things. And gradually turning down the power of the gas lamp so that the poor woman would soon believe that she had lost her mind.
In life, gaslighting occurs frequently. The simplest examples are when we hear from the other person something like, “Don’t exaggerate, you just imagined it, you’re confused again.” Or you have seen your friend using a TonyBet login several times and winning. But when you ask him to share his secrets, he tells you that you have mistaken and he has never heard of this platform. How do you know you’re being gaslit and how to stop the manipulation?
The Gaslighter Is Always Right
This person is always eager to explain to you exactly what you are wrong about. You’re at fault. You’re confused. Forgetting. Your actions, thoughts, and emotions constantly devalued and ridiculed. Gazlighter calmly goes for blackmail, intimidation, persuasion, uses emotional swings and other tools of manipulation.
As a result, the person begins to doubt everything in general: how he looks, what he says and does. He stops taking himself and his achievements seriously. And the partner helps him in this.
Loss of Your Individuality
Gradually all desires, thoughts, and responsibility for your behavior disappear. The person loses himself so much that he begins to behave like a puppet. Obedient and weak-willed. Listen to yourself. Do you have personal needs? Interests? Opinions about anything? Or are you just repeating someone else’s words?
The Impossibility of Normal Dialogue
There can be no personal boundaries with the gaslighter. He doesn’t know how to listen and doesn’t want to learn how to do it. He ridicules, interrupts, or takes a boring look when you try to explain or tell him something. One typical phrase of a manipulator is, “What’s there to talk to you about anyway?”
The gaslighter twists and exaggerates takes words out of context, shifts accents slightly in short, confuses things so that your own words suddenly turn against you.
“You’re Making This up”
This, too, is a typical trick of the gaslighter. If you keep telling people that they are something they are not, whether they are too sensitive, too whiny, or whatever, they will one day begin to doubt themselves. The goal is reached. You can continue to break what is not yet broken in the person.
As a result, the victim of manipulation ceases to believe in himself, can not articulate: “Who needs me at my 30s (40s, 60s, 80s), without work (education, beauty), with children (overweight, hysterics, illness)” – about the same words about themselves, those who successfully gazlate.
What to Do With Gaslighting
You need to escape as soon as possible and as far away as possible if only to regain a foothold and self-confidence. Most often, manipulators do not change, because the reason for their behavior lies in extremely low self-esteem, childhood complexes, or mental deviations. But you are living now? So be sure to talk about your problems to your parents, friends, or a therapist. And find a way to get out from under the influence of the manipulator.
If the first symptoms of gaslighting are weak, you can try to set personal boundaries, to talk them out loud. And be careful that they are not violated. Don’t allow yourself to be interrupted. Don’t allow yourself to be devalued. And then you might be able to build a partnership.
