Opening up Your Relationship for a Third Person in the Right Way
More and more couples are looking for the best way to spice up their (sex) lives. Being with someone special is great, but adding someone new is better. If a couple is strong enough to handle everything that the third person in a relationship brings, they can have amazing experiences. We can’t help you figure out if you and your partner are ready for that kind of adventure. But we can show how to invite the third person into your life once you decide it’s time.
Discuss Every Important Aspect with Your Partner
How many times have you heard that communication is the most important thing for every relationship? There’s a reason why that number is so high your wrist would hurt if you write it on a piece of paper. That’s the universal truth – nothing beats communication. It’s crucial for monogamy, but it’s absolutely the number one priority for poly relationships.
Before you even start looking for someone new, think about everything:
- things you’d like to do;
- things you wouldn’t like to see or experience;
- the gender of that someone new;
- what kind of person would you like to meet;
- how often would you like to engage in threesomes;
- would the third person be an addition to the relationship or just sex;
- where would you like to find new partner(s)?
When you’re clear with yourself – talk to your partner. Compare your opinions and discuss until you hit the arrangement that makes you both happy. Then, move to the next step. That one is more exciting, we promise.
Carefully Select the Third Partner Together
Looking for someone for a threesome is so much fun. Depending on where you decide to look, that can become the new activity you do together as a couple. If there’s a swinging bar in the area, going there to at least discuss your likes and dislikes is a good idea. But if you want to be efficient, pick one of the top dedicated matchmaking sites for a couple seeking a male and start browsing local guys. Use filters to hide everybody who doesn’t fit your criteria and save even more time. Or get a bottle of wine, two glasses, and start browsing. Most couples find that very arousing and feel the difference in their sex life even before meeting anyone.
However, if you want to get a threesome, don’t fall into a trap and browse for too long. Being careful is one thing; being overly cautious is another. Dare to chat (talk) to guys both of you like. That’s the only way to see if you’re a match.
Make Sure Everyone is on the Same Page
When you start chatting online with the third person or meet to talk, leave no stone unturned. Threesomes are exciting and adventurous but hurt people if done wrong. Assuming that couples come prepared and already know their terms and conditions, it’s important to ask that new person the right questions. Also, be open and give honest answers to any questions potential partners may have. Don’t go into a threesome thinking that everything will be fine and you’ll figure things out afterward. You could do something you’ll regret and even destroy your relationship. That’s why the next step is most important for every couple thinking about threesomes.
Voice Limitations and Boundaries
Every swinging couple has boundaries. Some stick to the same list forever; others cross things over as they gain experience in the lifestyle. If you’re new, you’ll probably have more rules than someone with 30 years of experience behind them. That’s ok. Don’t pressure yourself to agree to things that could cause you pain. If you think a person with a specific body type would make you too uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say so. It’s always possible to find the balance between fulfilling a partner’s wishes and protecting yourself.
Most couples have rules about kissing and penetrations. Couples looking for a guy usually do it because of the penetration, so they don’t have any limitations with that. But some men don’t like seeing their girl performing oral sex with another man. Protection shouldn’t even be in the story; it’s a must. Also, nothing’s set in stone. Keep the rule that you can say yes and no to things during sex. If you suddenly feel something might hurt your feelings, you’d be able to say it.
Embrace and Enjoy this New Experience
It may seem scary to invite someone new into your bedroom, but after the first threesome, you’ll regret waiting for so long. Strong couples become even stronger after they start gaining experience in swinging. Lousy couples break up after the first one. It’s a win-win situation, so just embrace it. That’s also one of the ways to stay motivated enough to exercise. You want to get the most out of every adventure, and that’s not possible if you’re in terrible shape.
Monogamy is fun, but threesomes are much more fun. This article is a step-by-step guide to couples thinking about spicing things up. Hope it will help you make the leap. You’ll love it.
